Rotten Piety: Why Catholic Husbands Must Kill Self-Made Religion

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The Lenten Gut Check for Catholic Husbands & Fathers

Lent is the desert. If you’re following Desert Father, you’ve already started to ask yourself the hard questions.

Now, I’ll ask you one that most men never consider:

Is your personal piety actually rotten catechesis?

Too many Catholic men create their own version of faith—mixing personal devotions, self-made rituals, and preferences while ignoring actual Church teaching.

• You say the Rosary daily, but never go to Confession.

• You wear a scapular but skip Sunday Mass when it’s inconvenient.

• You fast like an ascetic, but never fast from pride, anger, or lust.

• You obsess over manly devotions but reject obedience to the Church.

This is NOT piety. It’s spiritual self-deception—a counterfeit holiness that looks impressive but rots at the core.

The Danger of Self-Made Religion

Personal piety is NOT a substitute for actual Catholicism.

The early Church Fathers obliterated the idea that faith could be self-made.

“We must hold what has been believed everywhere, always, and by all.” —St. Vincent of Lérins (Commonitorium, 434 AD)

Translation? If your “personal faith” contradicts Sacred Tradition, the Catechism, or the Magisterium—you’re in heresy.

“It is not permissible for a man to believe as he wills, to receive what he wills, to ordain what he wills.” —Tertullian (Prescription Against Heretics, 200 AD)

Translation? The faith isn’t a buffet.

You don’t get to pick and choose your disciplines while ignoring the actual structure Christ gave His Church.

This is the exact error of the Pharisees, obsessing over external disciplines while ignoring the heart of faith: obedience and transformation.

The Real Hierarchy of Catholic Discipline

Catholicism is not just “what works for you.” It is ordered by Christ Himself.

If your spiritual life is disordered, you are failing in leadership.

The Sacraments First

The Eucharist, Confession, and Mass are non-negotiable.

If you have time for daily devotions but skip Confession for months, you’re lying to yourself.

“Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.” —John 6:53

“The faithful are bound by obligation to confess serious sins at least once a year.” —CCC 2042

Daily Prayer and Devotions (Rightly Ordered)

The Rosary is powerful. Devotions matter. But they are secondary to the Sacraments.

Never let private prayer take priority over liturgical worship.

“You cannot pray at home as at church, where there is the unity of voices, the cry of the priest, and the Holy Spirit poured out abundantly.” —St. John Chrysostom

Mortification & Fasting (Only With Interior Conversion)

Lenten fasting, physical suffering, and self-denial are good—but only if they are united to virtue.

If your fasting makes you prideful, impatient, or self-righteous, you are no different than the Pharisees.

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do.” —Matthew 6:16-18

CCC 1430: “Jesus calls to conversion of the heart, not just outward signs of penance.”

The Hard Examination: Are You a Pharisee?

Time for a brutal gut check. If any of these hit you, you have work to do.

1. You look down on other Catholics who don’t pray like you do.

“I pray the Rosary daily; why don’t they?”

“I fast every Friday; why don’t they?”

Pride destroys piety. If your prayer makes you self-righteous, you’ve already lost.

2. You love the idea of suffering more than actually embracing it.

• You obsess over “doing hard things” but complain when life gets difficult.

• You fast like a monk, but snap at your wife and kids when hungry.

“You are like whitewashed tombs, outwardly beautiful but inwardly full of hypocrisy.” —Matthew 23:27

3. You treat devotions as more important than the Sacraments.

• You’ve skipped Mass but still prayed the Rosary.

• You’ve avoided Confession but kept up your novenas.

If this is you—your personal piety is a crutch, not Catholicism.

4. You seek “holy intensity” but neglect ordinary virtue.

• You’re disciplined in prayer but lazy at work.

• You’re zealous online but passive in real life.

“If I give away all I have, but have not love, I gain nothing.” —1 Corinthians 13:3

Catholic Husbands & Fathers: You Must Get This Right

Your piety is not about you—it’s about leading your home to heaven.

St. John Chrysostom reminds us:

“The home is a little church.”

And the Catechism confirms (CCC 1656):

“The home is the first school of Christian life.”

“Fathers must recognize that they are the first heralds of the Gospel for their family.”

— Familiaris Consortio, §39 (St. John Paul II)

And again:

“The future of the world and of the Church passes through the family.”

— Familiaris Consortio, §75

Translation? If your personal faith doesn’t strengthen your wife and children, it is useless.

• Your family needs you at Mass, not just in private prayer.

• Your children need your virtue, not just your disciplines.

• Your household needs order, not just intensity.

Your Piety Must Lead to Obedience, Not Self-Made Spirituality.

Submit to the Church. Live what She actually teaches. That is the mark of true faith.

Final Command: Submit, Confess, Lead

1. Go to Confession this week.

If you’ve made prayer a performance instead of submission, repent.

2. Reorder your spiritual life TODAY.

• Mass > Confession > Devotions. Always in this order.

• Pray with your family first. Private prayer is secondary.

3. Lead your household in authentic faith.

Your job is not to be the holiest-looking man online.

Your job is to be the strongest spiritual leader at home.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father.” —Matthew 7:21

Submit. Confess. Lead.

You’re not called to curate holiness—you’re called to live it.

No more excuses. No more self-made religion.

Live The Marian Standard, formation for husbands and fathers who lead from obedience, not aesthetics.

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Built in the Desert. Covered by Mary. Forged in Fire.

☩ Sans Peur

– Emmanuel