Baptize Him or Burn: Canon Law for Catholic Fathers

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Fighting for My Son’s Baptism

My son is three months old.

I don’t have the words to express how proud I am of him, how fun it is to see him develop new abilities, and how grateful I am to God for this gift.

I also fail at gratitude every day.

When he wakes us up at 2:25 a.m. and pees on our bed mid-diaper change, I have to remind myself of the joy. This is all new for me, and I like the challenge.

I started this platform in preparation for fatherhood—to address the glaring lack of guidance for Catholic first-time dads like me.

And now I’ve hit another first.

That deep, primal fury rises when someone stands between your child and what is rightfully theirs.

The Roadblock to Baptism

Baptism is not optional.

“Let the children come to me” —Matthew 19:14

My wife and I took the baptism class at our parish, and I even did a video on it. Three and a half weeks went by. No follow-up. No baptism date. Nothing.

Frustration turned to fury.
Because this wasn’t about preparation. This was about control.

We made it clear from the beginning: We don’t have godparents.

We don’t avoid appointing godparents because we don’t want them.

We refuse to appoint placeholders.

A godparent must take on the spiritual formation of a child with the same vigor I do.

That means:

• They practice the faith fully.

• They are present in my son’s life, not just a name on paper.

We don’t have Catholic family here.

We don’t have local friends who meet this standard.

We told the pastoral assistant this from the start. She nodded. No objections. No indication it would create an issue.

Another three and a half weeks pass. Still no baptism.

Then she stops us after Mass.

Small talk, warm smiles, that fake “pastoral” tone where you can tell there’s an agenda coming.

And sure enough, there it was.

She had a “solution.” A Catholic family we don’t even know (whose “credentials” she started listing) could be our son’s godparents.

Entrust them with his soul? A family we’ve never met?

She framed it as an opportunity. I saw it for what it was: a roadblock.

At this point, I wasn’t livid with her anymore. I was furious with the system that creates this kind of nonsense preventing my son's baptism.

This requirement she was pushing was not theological or pastoral, it was arbitrary.

She looked stunned, blind to the problem.

Where This Went Wrong

1. Theologically

Baptism is not optional. It’s a command.

• Canon Law (Can. 867 §1) obliges parents to baptize infants in the first few weeks.

• Godparents are not a requirement for baptism to happen. Canon 872 states “if possible.” If not? Baptism still happens.

Only ignorance (or defiance) stood in our way.

2. Pastoral Malpractice

This was mismanaged from day one.

• No clear communication. If godparents were mandatory at this parish, we should have known upfront.

• Unnecessary delays. Meeting a random family to check a box is not pastoral care; it’s bureaucracy.

• Weak leadership. The rector should have acted weeks ago.

The Deeper Anger: Rejection

Baby Emmanuel

And then I realized why this was really hitting me.

This wasn’t just church bureaucracy. This wasn’t just weak leadership.

This was rejection. Again.

I’ve spent my life navigating rejection—from my biological parents, from institutions, from people who didn’t know what to do with me. It took years to find peace with it, to stop seeing it as an attack and start using it to fuel me.

But now, at three months old, my son faces it too.

His first encounter with the Church, tainted by obstacles, not embrace.

I won’t stand for it.

The Point of This Piece

A Catholic husband and father fights for his family. He does not let weak leadership or uncharitable gatekeeping stand between his child and the sacraments.

“Be shepherds of the church of God” (Acts 20:28)

This proves why strong fathers matter.

How many men would have shrugged and walked away?

How many kids grow up unbaptized because parents feel blocked by Church bureaucracy?

The worst part? It’s not the Church’s fault, it’s the stewards who fail her.

What I’m Doing About It

I’m not waiting. I reached out to the rector of the church where I attend daily Mass. I will find a priest who actually follows Church law, not “pastoral preferences.”

I’m praying for all involved. I’m praying for all the fathers who have faced this and walked away.

I’m using this fire.

The Marian Standard exists for moments like this, to make sure other men don’t face this alone and to give them the confidence to stand up and fight for their family’s faith.

If you’re dealing with this, here’s my advice:

• Know Canon Law. They cannot block what they do not own.

• Be relentless. Your child’s salvation is non-negotiable.

• Find a faithful priest. Some will put up roadblocks. Others will fight for you.

If the Church won’t guard your child, then guard the Church.

Canon Law is your sword. Your fatherhood is the shield.

This is not bureaucracy. This is war.

Fight for the sacrament. Or die knowing you surrendered.

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Built in the Desert. Covered by Mary. Forged in Fire.

☩ Sans Peur

– Emmanuel